Miss df

Regret, fear and lies

How could I be so stupid and fall for him again. And especially now, when the timing is so bad. I wish I knew what to do or at least could control my feelings. Which maybe I can, at least so that they don't show.

(And maybe that is my problem)

When I talk about it, I hear myself saying that I am not really interested, that it is more of a friendship thing to me and that I really want something else, so why even bother that he likes someone else.

And I believe what I hear myself saying.

(Because the other alternative sounds far too frightening)

But then I wake up in the morning, and in the morning, truth finds it's way through the window blinds and wakes me up with a big punch in the stomach, and I realize so clearly, that I am lying to myself.

posted by: denimfairy at 08:50 | link | comments |